I read a news piece about a man who recently regained his sight.
Made me think about the people that Jesus healed, in that they may have been made whole, but had to learn how to incorporate the healing into their everyday lives. The man who recently regained his sight (he lost it at three years) had to learn again what things were and how to relate to simple everyday occurrences as one who can see—no simple task, come to find out. The brain has to learn everything again, literally through new eyes.
When Jesus made the blind see again, I somehow do not think they knew how to totally function. They were healed and whole, but had some work to do. I have read the analogy of this like one walking out of a labyrinth, imagery that speaks volumes.
Coming out from a very controlling and abusive religious situation I realize that re-programming (learning to see and respond to people and normal circumstances) will take some time.
Although much of the wounds are gone over lost relationships and severed trust, I know these scars will mark my life. But, then I think of another who is marked by the scars man has given Him, and I am humbled at the price He paid, "for the joy set before Him."
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
A Friend Indeed
I lost a good friend about two years ago.
Not only did we work together every day, we were neighbors. Our families would watch movies together, sing around the piano and even pray together. We celebrated over the birth of my daughter and wept over the loss of her mother. We were as close as brother and sister for about six years.
It wasn't by death that I lost her, but by the silence that comes from a belief that it was wrong for me to question the spiritual authority of the religious group our families were a part of—a group whose leaders had spiritually and emotionally abused our family—in the name of reaching the lost with the love of Christ. A leadership that I had to stand up against.
Many people who were a part of this organization visited us, called us, and helped us process and move forward, shared with us their stories, and to our surprise we found that we were not alone. Many families left the org soon after we were dismissed, and there has been a steady flow ever since of people who wake up to the fact that they are needlessly suffering for the Gospel and that all leadership has to have accountability.
Through all this, my friend has chosen to remain silent, which has left a large hole in my heart that has been difficult to ignore, but slow for me to come to terms with.
So what has happened to me as I have carried this wound? I have had to learn to trust again, but it has been a very gradual process. I have learned that I can only have responsible relationships with responsible people. I am also convinced now that loving someone cannot come without risk of pain, and the closer someone is, the more it hurts when the silence comes.
What else happened? God convinced me He knows who you need in your life to help your heart heal, and pull you out of the ashes.
Over the last year, I have made this kind of friend. She has helped me to laugh with my soul and truly has helped pull me from the muck and distrust I have carried around for too long. She has helped me to think a lot about my family because of how interconnected she is with her own, and has helped me to hunger for heaven because of the sense of justice she owns in standing up for herself and what she believes in. She's not afraid to ask questions, to be herself.
There is a verse that says, "He who waters will himself be watered." Other translations say "he that refreshes "—nonetheless I used to think this meant that if you are a nice and giving person then one day people will be nice and giving to you. Well, we do reap what we sow, but I think this verse has an immediacy to it as in when you refresh someone—you are refreshed at the same time.
This is my hope (and God's promise) for my friend. If you ever read this, thank you! Be well watered!
Not only did we work together every day, we were neighbors. Our families would watch movies together, sing around the piano and even pray together. We celebrated over the birth of my daughter and wept over the loss of her mother. We were as close as brother and sister for about six years.
It wasn't by death that I lost her, but by the silence that comes from a belief that it was wrong for me to question the spiritual authority of the religious group our families were a part of—a group whose leaders had spiritually and emotionally abused our family—in the name of reaching the lost with the love of Christ. A leadership that I had to stand up against.
Many people who were a part of this organization visited us, called us, and helped us process and move forward, shared with us their stories, and to our surprise we found that we were not alone. Many families left the org soon after we were dismissed, and there has been a steady flow ever since of people who wake up to the fact that they are needlessly suffering for the Gospel and that all leadership has to have accountability.
Through all this, my friend has chosen to remain silent, which has left a large hole in my heart that has been difficult to ignore, but slow for me to come to terms with.
So what has happened to me as I have carried this wound? I have had to learn to trust again, but it has been a very gradual process. I have learned that I can only have responsible relationships with responsible people. I am also convinced now that loving someone cannot come without risk of pain, and the closer someone is, the more it hurts when the silence comes.
What else happened? God convinced me He knows who you need in your life to help your heart heal, and pull you out of the ashes.
Over the last year, I have made this kind of friend. She has helped me to laugh with my soul and truly has helped pull me from the muck and distrust I have carried around for too long. She has helped me to think a lot about my family because of how interconnected she is with her own, and has helped me to hunger for heaven because of the sense of justice she owns in standing up for herself and what she believes in. She's not afraid to ask questions, to be herself.
There is a verse that says, "He who waters will himself be watered." Other translations say "he that refreshes "—nonetheless I used to think this meant that if you are a nice and giving person then one day people will be nice and giving to you. Well, we do reap what we sow, but I think this verse has an immediacy to it as in when you refresh someone—you are refreshed at the same time.
This is my hope (and God's promise) for my friend. If you ever read this, thank you! Be well watered!
Sunday, May 6, 2007
"Fours"
I was "tagged" by Laura on Seedlings to this list of fours, so here goes:
Four places I have lived:
Illinois
California
Texas
Wisconsin
Four jobs I have had:
Rodeo Clown/Notary Public (okay, I made this one up)
Editorial Illustrator
Canoeing Instructor
Art Director
Four films I watch over and over:
Last of the Mohicans
Kung Pow
Gladiator
Blackhawk Down
Four favorite foods:
Watermelon
Pot-stickers
Oatmeal raisin bars (with frosting)
Any meal shared with friends
Four favorite TV shows:
Sunday Morning on CBS
Alias (now on DVD)
Lost
This Old House
Four places I'd rather be now:
Giving my wife a foot massage
Watching my son play football
Glacier Point, Yosemite National Park
In a hot-tub with friends
Four places I have lived:
Illinois
California
Texas
Wisconsin
Four jobs I have had:
Rodeo Clown/Notary Public (okay, I made this one up)
Editorial Illustrator
Canoeing Instructor
Art Director
Four films I watch over and over:
Last of the Mohicans
Kung Pow
Gladiator
Blackhawk Down
Four favorite foods:
Watermelon
Pot-stickers
Oatmeal raisin bars (with frosting)
Any meal shared with friends
Four favorite TV shows:
Sunday Morning on CBS
Alias (now on DVD)
Lost
This Old House
Four places I'd rather be now:
Giving my wife a foot massage
Watching my son play football
Glacier Point, Yosemite National Park
In a hot-tub with friends
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